Things I like: Electric Boogaloo

This is a special edition of ‘Things I Like’, where the machines have taken over.

Popcorn Maker

Who on earth needs a popcorn maker? I’ll tell you who: muggins here. I’ve tried making popcorn on the hob but it’s never right. They only half pop, or they burn and stick to the bottom of the pan. So I am very proud to present Old Pops here. He came from Pete’s parents, and I am profoundly grateful. I have been playing around with various flavourings, and my favourite so far has been icing sugar mixed with ground cinnamon, although paprika is also very nice. And colourful. For those of you with more testicular fortitude than I possess, Pete tells me that sprinkling a little wasabi powder on top works very well.

As far as I can tell, there is only one downside. Occasionally a greasy and super-heated unpopped kernel will shoot out at high speed, and if you just so happen to be wearing a low cut top it will fall down your top and burn you under your right boob, and there’s nothing you can do about it. On the plus side, plentiful popcorn will comfort you and distract you from the pain.

Food Processor

I have missed you, old friend. My parents got it for me from a car boot sale a few years ago, and I loved it. It has a few different blades, but I only ever use one. When I moved into my old house, my housemate had a big, super duper food processor. With functions. Mine doesn’t have functions. Look at it. It chops, it chops fast, and it chops very fast. Those are the options. So I decided that I should leave mine in my parents loft, as no one needs two food processors in a house. Fool that I was. Although my housemate’s machine was undoubtedly awesome I could never figure out how to work it. Now I have been reunited with my old buddy, and I couldn’t be happier.

The ‘Machine’

In my mind this has always looked like a cross between the Pixar lamp and the alien from, you know, Alien. Either way, it’s damn cute. I tend to favour instant coffee for convenience sake, but I crack out ‘The Machine’ on special occasions. It makes a couple of strong little espressos, which you can add water to for an Americano, or milk for a Latte. I really can’t think of anything finer in life than waking up a little later than usual on a Saturday morning, having a croissant and a fresh cup of coffee and settling down on a big sofa to watch Saturday Kitchen or some nonsense like that. The Machine makes me happy.